There is a charming medieval story about a certain low-life who once became infatuated with a beautiful maiden. Once there was a low-life who became infatuated with a beautiful woman. He used to fantasize about her in his dreams. Each day, he flirted with her, telling her how much he wanted to “get to know” her better. She ignored his overtures. One day, when he asked her out again, she told him to go to the cemetery—there, they would meet. Little did he realize the girl’s real message, namely—“Drop dead!”
Feeling jubilant about the prospects of romancing her, he went to the cemetery and waited. But she did not come. The hours had turned into days, but still, she did not arrive. As he began wandering from grave to grave, he saw how others had distinguished their lives by performing good deeds for the betterment of their communities.
He began wondering, “How will others remember me?” Then he decided that he too wanted to live a life that would earn him the respect and admiration from others. He began working on his character, and eventually became known for his piety—despite himself. 
The moral of the story is simple enough: the lure of forbidden pleasures has proven to be the downfall of many great people throughout human history.
Strangely enough, maybe the awareness of our mortality and legacy in this world—symbolized by the cemetery—may serve to help reign in one’s powerful sexual energy. The rabbis and their students studied the entire day in the hopes that they would exert self-control. However, sometimes Torah study by itself is insufficient.
Self-control does not come easy for a lot of people. The lure of temptation can topple even the greatest individuals.
Perhaps a stroll through the cemetery can act as catalyst for personal growth and change.
Notes: BT Berachoth 5a.  Reshit Chochmah, Sh’aar Ahavah.
Last modified on