Rabbi Michael Leo Samuel

It has often been said that “Denial is not just a river in Egypt.” Although this adage has become a cliché, it still carries considerable punch whenever we examine the psychological mechanisms that prevent people from dealing with the truth of an addiction.

While in some instances of denial the facts of reality might be consciously accepted, their personal and emotional significance is unconsciously disavowed; one seems oblivious of their significance. The denier tends to look elsewhere for the root cause of the problem. Typically, it is usually someone else or something else that makes them act in destructive ways. More usually, these painful thoughts and feelings reflect the most unpleasant or unwanted aspects of the Self.

The theme of this short article is not about chemical dependencies, although many of its aspects certainly are relevant to the topic at hand: the refusal of Orthodox Judaism to confront the serious and egregious problems that are infesting its society. The issues we will discuss pertain more to the Ultra-world of Orthodoxy known as the Haredim (the “shakers”) and the Hasidim (the “pious” ones”).

Many years ago, I had a conversation with a study partner who has since become a prominent leader in the Lubavitcher community in Brooklyn. He told me about a sermon he once heard from his father in Toronto. Someone asked his father, who was a leading Rav of the community at that time, “Why are so many Orthodox Jews so dishonest in their business dealings? Surely the power of Torah should have made these people into more refined people!” The Rav replied, “Ah, the answer is simple—if this what these people are like with the power of Torah, just imagine how much worse they would be without the benefit of having studied Torah.”

At the time, I marveled at the Rav’s excellent penchant for gentle but wise humor, but now I must question the wisdom of his remark. Is it possible that religious communities have failed educating their children because they are not teaching the right kind of subject matter? Torah without mentschlikeit or ehrleichkeit (human decency with an emphasis on personal ethical excellence) is not being stressed at all precisely because more emphasis is placed on ritual rather than ethical practice. It is a lot easier to be worried about bugs in lettuce than it is to paying one’s workers on time.

Over 200 years ago, R. Hayyim Luzzato writes in his classic book “Mesilat Yesharim,” the principles of ethical etiquette are presumed to be too elementary—but really they are not. Luzzato was correct. The system of Talmudic interpretation known as “pilpul,” (hair-splitting) has damaged the student’s ability to think in ethical terms precisely because the Halacha is constantly being parsed in ridiculous and non-ethical ways. As one good friend of mine said, “When the Ten Commandments says, ‘You shall not steal,’ rabbinic law argues that this pertains only to kidnapping-but not real ‘stealing,’ which under certain circumstances may be permitted.” Such interpretive readings sadly re-enforce the negative image that Jews throughout history have endured for being, “dishonest” in business. If the emphasis of study focused more on interpersonal ethics, we might have a better chance in creating a more honest kind of student.

Of course it goes without saying, teachers and community leaders must model the values they are attempting to convey to others.

Until just a few years ago, only few of the Haredi and Hassidic rabbinic leaders felt like even discussing many of the issues, lest they convey an image of Orthodoxy that was less than pristine. But with the daily arrests of many of their most prominent leaders, for committing a garden variety of social offenses, it is too difficult even for them to deny that they have a serious problem that threatens to destroy their communities. Even now, some rabbis argue that we should give the benefit of the doubt to people accused of crimes. [1]

The sexual escapades, along with the accusations, indictments and numerous convictions of prominent rabbinic leaders, one must wonder: Are there any truly great rabbinic leaders in the Haredi or Hassidic communities we can actually trust?As with chemical dependencies, the first step to healing comes with the recognition that they have a serious problem. The answer is very problematic to say the least. However, all is not totally bleak.

As one Haredi writer perceptively notes, “There is an expression known as “an elephant in the room” and clearly, even though the hall was packed there was a rather large elephant in that room. The expression means that there is an important and very obvious topic, which everyone present is thoroughly aware of, yet for some reason it is never discussed. It is too uncomfortable to discuss, and it will not be discussed . . .” [2]

Maybe Aristotle said it best, “Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” If we want to grow as a community, we have an imperative to be honest with ourselves as a people. The biblical prophets were not always popular for their tart words, but when a community fails to honor its highest principles, how can anyone of conscience say nothing?

Kudos goes to the rabbinic and civic-minded leaders who are starting to take the steps necessary in admitting that the problems exist and that they are legion within their faith communities. Such honesty is necessary in eradicating the problems we mentioned above. Perhaps with more honest dialogue, solutions could be forthcoming.

A few months ago, I had a discussion with my Modern Orthodox cousin, David Samuel, who lives in Baltimore and has been a part of that community for decades. In one discussion, he told me how he went to a pizza shop and ordered a pizza only to find out that the pizza was at least a day old. At another time, he had to be rushed to the ER because the food served at a 4* restaurant had fecal matter. Cutting corners, consumer fraud, stealing from poor Orthodox families reflects an attitude that is at the very least economically predatory.

I speculated that one of the reasons why we are witnessing a spike in economic crimes is because most of the Haredi and Hassidic Jews of their community lack the educational skills to succeed in life; basically, they live in a very social Darwinian world where they will resort to virtually anything to survive or support their families. Rather than admitting that the edifice of Yeshiva study has proven to be an abysmal failure, rabbinic leaders seek any means to keep themselves afloat. Whether it is the exorbitant cost of Kosher supervision, or having entire families go into debt to send their children to yeshiva or other day-schools—the problem is all the same. The religious communities are economically cannibalizing their own young.

The Sages of the Talmud made a sober observation that today’s Ultra-Orthodox world ought to take heed and remember:

“We thus learnt [here] what our Rabbis taught: The father is bound in respect of his son, to circumcise, redeem, teach him Torah, take a wife for him, and teach him a craft. Some say, to teach him to swim too, R. Judah said: ‘He who does not teach his son a craft, teaches him brigandage,’ [One sage quipped,] ’Oh really now?! ‘Brigandage’! Do you really think so?! — Ah, but it is as though he taught him brigandage.” [3]

Quite a remarkable passage! Schools and parents cannot merely “teach Torah,” they must also provide the young people with the skill to earn a livelihood in a decent and respectful manner. Thus, “teaching the child to swim,” has great metaphorical significance. Job skills are ultimately more important than teaching just religious skills. Vocational training is essential if families are to liberate themselves from the welfare mentality that is controlling their lives. Birth control also needs to be stressed because even Joseph chose to have his children before the famine years arrived. In light of the above, let us hope that our brethren get their act together and start taking practical steps in creating a community that brings honor and not disgrace to its doorstep.

Last and certainly not least, fearless honesty is necessary. By facing our shadow side (as Jung observed countless times), we can come to terms with the spiritual work we must accomplish. More steadfast leaders are necessary-leaders who aren’t afraid to speak the truth that concerns the future welfare of their communities.

============

[1] See Rabbi Gil Student’s article, http://hirhurim.blogspot.com/2010/12/reacting-to-scandal.html

[2] http://www.vosizneias.com/post/read/35856/2009/07/29/new-york-the-elephant-in-the-room

[3] BT Kiddushin 29a.