Rabbi Michael Leo Samuel

Webster defines lunacy as "great or wild foolishness," a mental derangement associated with different phases of the moon."

With this thought in mind, let us examine a recent advertisement that appeared in an Israeli Orthodox newspaper that might suggest too many Ultra-Orthodox Jews in Israel were staring at the moon perhaps a little excessively when they were saying their monthly prayers. The ad read, "There is a Halachic decision by the famed Rav Ovadia Yosef that allows a man to marry two women in our age." [1]

The gist of the responsa explains that Sephardic Jews never took upon themselves the ban on polygamy promulgated by Rabbanu Gershom in the 10th century; this ban was never observed in Jerusalem, or for that matter any of the other Oriental communities where Sephardic Jews lived.

A website called Srugim claims that the ad was underwritten by a number of Orthodox women who feel as their biological clock for having children might be winding down.

One anonymous woman, who participated in this ad, wrote:

"I'm a 39 year old religious single woman that is worried that she will soon no longer be able to be a mother. Two years ago, I inquired about sperm donation, but all my rabbis rejected the issue, and I also felt it was a terrible thing for a child to grow up with no father. According to Sara (not her real name), the rabbi advised her that there is a halachic solution of wedding a married man. Sara, brought up the idea to her fellow single and divorced female friends who are in a similar situation, and they decided to set up a support group with the encouragement of Rabbanim. They joined forced with the organization "The complete Jewish Home" that provides advice and solutions on the subject of polygamous marriages. [2]

Sara continues and explains that there are 27 female members in her "support group" in Jerusalem, all of whom are religious, religious light or chozrim Be'teshuva (“born again Orthodox Jews”).

In the interest of time, I will keep my comments brief:

1) The rabbis in Israel need to allow women to get artificially inseminated if they so choose to do so. This is a privacy issue and rabbinic power must be respectful of the woman’s right to choose whether or not she wishes to get pregnant—especially since rabbinic law does not consider it a woman’s obligation to get pregnant in the first place. There are many religious women who are already raising children by themselves. One more person won’t make that big of a difference.

2) Polygamy’s greatest weakness is that it promotes patriarchal exploitation of women. When an Orthodox website starts comparing its values to Muslim websites that openly endorse polygamy, once again women’s bodies are being controlled by men.

3) Men who cannot control their libido need counseling. Giving in to one's libido only makes the individual more spiritually coarse. Contrary to the perception advocated by many Orthodox apologists, men are more in control of their urges than the rabbis are willing to admit. On the other hand, the highly segregated communities of the Haredi and the Hasidim might be the exception. With proper psychotherapy, even they can learn to get an emotional grip on themselves. Self control is necessary for everyone--even Ultra-Orthodox Jews.

4) There is a logical and practical alternative for Orthodox women to seriously think about: they ought to consider going out with non-Orthodox Jewish men. At the very least, many of these men might become more observant; although they may not be “Orthodox,” such men can prove to be good providers and loving husbands/fathers. This is by far a much better solution for everyone to consider.

5) Statistically speaking, “One in every four residents in Israel lives below the poverty line, more than twice the average of Western countries (the average poverty rate in developed countries is 11.1%). Israel has the second highest poverty rate among OECD countries (OECD data, 2011). The total number of the nation’s impoverished is 1.7 million people. Groups with the highest percentage living below the poverty line are ultra-Orthodox Jews (56.9% of all families) and the Arab population (53.5% of all families.) 36.3% of Israeli children live in poverty (850,300 children). Working families make up 49% of the total population living below the poverty line (National Insurance Institute data, 2009).” [3]

The implications are clear: If the Orthodox in Israel cannot properly care for the number of children they are rearing, why exponentiate the problem even more by endorsing polygamy? Having more children will only contribute toward the growing poverty in Israel that already affects 1.7 million Israelis, which especially impacts Orthodox families. Rabbi Yosef foolishly ought to seriously examine why Joseph chose to have two children before the famine struck the land of Egypt. Family planning is a mitzvah and it is also good common sense.

Lastly, the entire advertisement is a moot point, since Israel has outlawed polygamy for anyone living in the country, unless they had already had multiple wives before taking residency in Israel. Secondly, most of the Responsa dealing with polygamy insist a husband have the financial means to support each of his wives in separate living quarters--this is a relevant point that often gets overlooked by the advocates for polygamy.

Jews everywhere are required to uphold the law of the land, for as Samuel says in the Talmud: "The law of the State is law.”[4]

Orthodox women need to stop giving their power away and stop their kvetching. Taking personal responsibility for one’s life is perhaps the most important step anyone can take in becoming a happy and well-adjusted human being.

Notes:

[1] R. Ovadiah Yoseh, Responsa Yabea Omer on Even Ezer, Responsa # 8:2.

[2] http://mostlykosher.blogspot.com/

[3] The Association for Civil Rights in Israel (http://www.acri.org.il/en/?p=2389 ).

[4] BT Bava Kama 113a