13 Jul
Defining Virginity in Jewish Tradition
From Jewish Values:
I was wondering. I’ve heard different things from different people, and was told a lot of different opinions. In Judaism, among Jews, what is considered as ‘losing your virginity’, particularly for a girl? I’ve always viewed it to be when a girl’s hymen is broken by a man in a sexual act, but some people have been telling me otherwise. So my question is, ‘What constitutes ‘losing your virginity’ for a girl?’ What would change her status from ‘virgin’ to not?
Rabbinical texts argue that so long as the hymen remains intact, the young woman is still regarded as a virgin. The term בְּתוּלָה (bĕtûlâ) is derived from the rare verb בתל (bĕtal), which means, “to sever,” or “separate”).
Being a virgin is not limited to any specific age—one could theoretically be a 70 year old virgin. I recall once hearing a joke from an Arab comic who said that a suicide bomber expects to have seventy virgins in the Afterlife. Once he is there, what he really discovers is that Allah gives him only one virgin, who happens to be seventy years old.
Some scholars take a different attitude and claim that בְּתוּלָה (bĕtûlâ) means a “young unmarried girl.” Other cognate languages of the Ancient Near East support such a rendering. However, in Joel 1:8, the bĕtûlâ means a “young woman” who has already had a husband. According to this definition, one could not be a 70 year old virgin.
What if she only had anal intercourse or oral sex, could she still be considered a virgin? One might argue that touching a young maiden in any sort of sexual way would imply that the young maiden is not a maiden. For example: Rebekah is praised for being “very beautiful, a virgin, untouched by man” (Gen. 24:16). Rabbinical tradition adds that the term “untouched” means exactly what it says—in any sexual way or manner (see Rashi’s commentary and the Midrash Gen Rabbah 65:6).
In all honesty, biblical interpretation and rabbinical law may not always agree with one another.
Maimonides writes about this kinky situation. According to him if ten men had anal sex with a maiden, they could all be summarily executed by stoning—assuming she was betrothed at the time of her liaisons. However, her virginal status still remains in place! [1] Lastly, it seem based on Maimonides (and some other rabbinical sources) that if a maiden acted promiscuously and had non vaginal sex with a several men—she could still be considered a virgin according to the Halacha. On the other hand, if a woman had a physical accident that led to the breaking of the hymen-one which had nothing to do with sexual behavior-she would still be considered a virgin according to Jewish law.
Just because something is theoretically “legal” doesn’t mean it is a correct course of action to pursue. It is unfortunate that so many men view sex as a purely physical activity bereft of emotional bonding and meaning. Many young women (and women in general) confuse sexuality with love; they are not synonymous. It is far better for a woman to save her virginity for that one special person whom she truly loves. If a man cannot recognize the unique human being a woman truly is, he is not worth dating or marrying.
Notes:
[1] Maimonides, MT Issure Biah 3:6.
Posted by Yochanan Lavie on 13.07.12 at 12:23 am
There has to be a middle ground between extreme sexual repression and extreme promiscuity..
Posted by admin on 13.07.12 at 12:23 am
Everything in life is about balance and integrity. We do not need to micromanage people’s lives from the Halachic Ivory Tower or from the corridors of Congress. We teach by personal example. That is the only way to persuade anyone-assuming that is what one wishes to do.
Posted by Gnarlodious on 13.07.12 at 12:23 am
Doesn’t it seem a little odd that “betolah” (hebrew doesn’t render) was derived from a root word meaning “splitting apart”? To be linguistically accurate, it should mean tho opposite! That is, the virginal flesh is unseparated.
The explanation is that the entire concept of virginity is bogus. Ascribing deistic status to virginity was a Hellenistic obsession, while to Jews it merely described a nubile woman. This agrees with your statements that a woman can be a virgin regardless of past sexual activities. We can take this to mean that for Jews, “virginal” means sexually available and not “sexually unexploited” as it does for the Hellenites.
Because of their bizarre penchant for virgin goddesses (Athena, Artemis etc), the Hellenistic people basically treated virgin females like a commodity to be bartered and exploited. Jews, meanwhile, held a much more realistic and healthy view of female sexuality, one that resulted in less abuse. But the misunderstanding that “virgin” describes an anatomical condition suggests that once again the Jews arrived at this definition by backtranslating Hellenestic interpretations of the bible. Or possibly that they simply adopted the foreign biological meaning of the word rather than the abstract hebrew meaning. In any case, it seems like the Hellenestic meaning of “virgin” has no part in Judaism at all.