Jewish customs
« Previous EntriesGrieving for a non-Jewish spouse or parent
Saturday, April 11th, 2009An interesting but poignant incident took place last week on one of my favorite websites where the participants were discussing the new Orthodox Siddur (prayer book) that the Chief Rabbi of Britain recently wrote. The participants made comparisons to the Artscroll prayer book and the discussions suddenly took an unexpected turn—one that was surprising and tragic.
One of the forum’s participants named Mordechai wrote the following message about a conversation he had with a well-known Chabad rabbi in Florida.
My soul-mate and dear wife of more than thirty years passed away last Thursday after a brutal eight year fight with cancer. This has been devastating.
I approached a Chabad Rabbi just a few hours ago with the following question: “What Jewish prayers do you recommend for my wife; she was not Jewish.” To which he replied: “There are no Jewish prayers for her. Don’t do it again!”
These words sliced through me like a finely honed Samurai Sword. Momentarily a vision of a dead rabbi appeared before me. But with restraint, I said: “Rabbi thank you for your thoughts and have a good Pesach and left.”
So it goes. Well is it so then that our grand religion has no prayers for the non-Jewish deceased spouse?
As I read this heart rendering message, I thought about Martin Buber’s incredible little book entitled, “Meetings,” a book where Buber tells tales about serendipitous conversations with ordinary people that proved to be spiritual messages from God. According to Buber’s concept of the “I and Thou,” God is always triangulated in every human relationship. How we relate to the Other person we unexpectedly meet ultimately says something about our relationship with God. Although the topic of the original thread was an important and fascinating, I felt a voice inside me commanding me to offer words of consolation that might possibly soothe a grieving soul who was crying out for help. Technology has a great potential for holiness, provided it is used in a constructive and compassionate way. Mordechai’s experience is visceral reminder that one cannot ignore the pain of the Other, and conduct business as usual. After he thanked me for my words of condolence, I wrote back:
What is the origin of the term “kosher”? What does it take to make an animal “kosher”?
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009It may seem strange to the reader, but the term “kosher” only appears twice in the entire Bible (and in the only place where it appears, it does not pertain to food!! Originally, “kasher” meant “to be right and proper” (as in Esther 8:5), or “to prosper” (cf. Ecc. 11:6). As a noun, it connotes, “skill,” or “success” (Ecc. 2:21; 4:4), or “advantage.” The term originally came to designate proper and fit food only during the rabbinic era that is in accordance to the rules of ritual purity. Many of the basic laws of permitted and forbidden animals can be found in the Book of Leviticus (11:1–23, 29ff.) and in the Book of Deuteronomy (14:3–21). One of the best known restrictions is the law forbidding the cooking a calf in its mother’s milk (Exod. 23:19; 34:26; Deut. 14:21). Jewish thinkers beginning with Philo of Alexandria (ca. 1st century) suggest that the reason is so that we will learn to respect the importance of motherhood. God intended for the milk to enhance the life of the infant animal—and not so that we may use it as a condiment for dinner!
Two characteristics are necessary for an animal to be considered “kosher” for consumption: Kosher animals must be cloven-hooves and chew their cud. By this definition, not only were the ox, sheep, and goat permitted, but so are the seven kinds of venison (Deut. 14:5). Animals failing to fulfill these criteria were considered unfit as food. With respect to fish, only those with both fins and scales might be eaten. Among the insects, only certain types of locusts may be eaten. Curiously, bee honey is the only insect product that is permitted for people to eat. It is vital to remember that in addition to the kosher types of animals, the blood of these creatures must never be consumed. Jewish Law requires that the blood of a kosher animal always be drained; this practice was followed by salting the meat to remove any residual blood.
What does “rabbi” mean and when was the title first introduced?
Friday, March 27th, 2009What does “rabbi” mean, and when was the title “rabbi” first introduced?
This question is much more complex than most people realize. However, antecedents to the term רַב (rab) has some basis the Tanakh, where it denotes “great,” or chief (2 Kgs 18:17; Isa 36:2). Elsewhere the expression rab māg means [...]
Was Jesus actually married?
Thursday, March 26th, 2009Question: After reading the Da Vinci Codes, I began to wonder: Was Jesus actually married? Was a rabbi of that era supposed to be married?
Answer: To begin with, there was no official office of the rabbinate in the first century; generally speaking the epithet “rabbi” was an honorific title. Oftentimes, a wise person was called a “Chacham” (a Sage), or “Abba” since a spiritual teacher was considered to be like one who had given birth to a child or a disciple.
Jews in the first century generally got married at a fairly young age so that they could fulfill the precept of raising a family. One rabbinic aphorism attributed to Ben Azzai (ca. 2nd century) reads: “Whosoever abstains from the precept of procreation is considered as if he shed blood” (T.B. Yebamoth 63b). Would one expect an aspiring leader to be married? Not all the rabbis agree on this issue.
Why does the Bible tolerate slavery?
Wednesday, March 25th, 2009Q. I honestly would like to believe that the Bible is the untainted Word of God, but there are several passages that very clearly go against any sane standard of human decency. Two quick examples are Numbers 31, and the commandment that a Canaanite slave must be kept forever. I don’t understand how my God could demand such grotesque acts in the former tale, and condone eternal slavery in the latter bit. Since you are far more learned than I am, I thought you would be able to offer explanations.
A. I enjoyed your question. I wish everyone read the Torah with such a critical eye.
By the way the verse speaking of the Canaanite slave being kept forever is not from Numbers 31 but from Leviticus 25:46. Even there, nothing prevent a slave from having a family member purchase his freedom, or if he is determined to be free, he can choose to run away from his master for the Torah grants the slave instant freedom — even if he is a Canaanite slave!! “You shall not hand over to his master a slave who has taken refuge from him with you. Let him live with you wherever he chooses, in any one of your communities that pleases him. Do not molest him” (Deut. 23:16-17).
I would encourage you to bear in mind that any passage dealing with slavery must be viewed in light of the cultural and social setting of its day, and for this reason, the Sages taught: “The Torah speaks in the language of humankind.” The wisdom of this aphorism is significant. Language is never static, but continues to evolve in new and unpredictable ways. Each new generation must add its own interpretive voice, which will periodically require constant re-visioning and reinterpretation.
Although there are numerous precepts that no longer apply to our day, nevertheless, there is wisdom to be gleaned from every precept — even the commandments that from a moral perspective strike a modern reader as offensive (e.g., laws regarding genocide of the Canaanites, “holy” war, the laws regarding slavery, and so on.). As my colleague pointed out before me, rabbinic tradition in many ways “reformed” many of the more problematic passages of the Torah (e.g., the rabbinic interpretation of the lex tallionis – “the eye for an eye” found in Exodus 21:24) liberators.
Significance of the Number Four
Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
Question: The Passover Hagadah speaks of four cups of wine, four sons, the four questions, and so on. What is the number four so significant in the Passover Seder? I would also like to know about the specific origin of the famous Four Questions during Seder.
Answer: Good question. In the [...]
The Inconspicuous Messiah
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009As Napoleon marched triumphantly through Europe, the Jews of the ghetto felt joyous by his arrival. Was Napoleon really the Messiah? Many of our ancestors thought so; but again, that was before Napoleon got defeated at the Battle of Waterloo. And then there was Franklin Delano Roosevelt better known to my [...]
The Best Question of the Passover Seder
Sunday, March 15th, 2009Children have an unusual ability when it comes to confronting our spiritual hypocrisy as parents and as adults; very often they get to the essence of the problem as they perceive things. Frequently, as parents we often fail to hear the questions our young people ask of us; often we overreact whenever we feel that our beliefs and values are being questioned or attacked.
Rather than listening with an inner ear, as parents, we often react with harshness and anger. Sometimes we wish our children were more respectful and compliant, or at least, “mind their place” at the Seder table and not misbehave or draw undue attention to themselves. As any Woody Allen fan certainly knows, passionate family discussions have always been a part of Jewish life since ancient times. Unanimity has never been the goal of any kind of discussion wherever you have two or more Jews together engaged in dialogue. Passover is no exception to this rule.
During Passover, this thought finds expression in the question of the “Rasha ” (better known to most of us as the “Wicked Child”). Without his presence and participation, the entire Seder would be a dull experience. Here is a literal translation of the controversial passage we read in the Passover Hagadah:
The wicked child, what does that he say? “What is this service to you?” Note what the Torah says, “To you,” …
Banning Women from Funerals?
Thursday, March 12th, 2009Q. I read recently in the Jerusalem Post (dated March 12, 2009) about a funeral that took place in the Yavneh cemetery, where the women were prohibited from walking near the graves, and one of the reasons given was because it “damages their wombs.” Another Orthodox woman said, “Due to the high rate of deaths of young people in Yavneh, the community undertook a vow not to approach the grave during a burial - and that would be the tikkun (healing) of Yavneh.”
A woman defending the custom, explained:
We implored the woman from the cemetery. We argued with her and amongst ourselves. In the meantime, some men were already returning from the burial. As they passed near us, they said we could approach the grave now since the burial had been completed. Yet cemetery woman still refused and said, “It is not good for the departed. Don’t you understand? You are sinning against the dead. You are harming his soul” and with that she silenced us. She overwhelmed us. The father of my departed cousin is religious and some of the women said he might want us to obey these shocking orders. We did not want to endanger him or his son in any way in the world to come. So we stopped trying
What is the reason for this peculiar custom? Why is there an association between a woman’s menstruation and death?
What is the meaning of the “goodly fruit” of Lev. 23:40?
Wednesday, December 24th, 2008Q. What is the meaning of the “goodly fruit” of Lev. 23:40? Does it really refer to the citron as the rabbis teach? I have friend who is a Horticulture at Southern Florida College, who doubts this association.
“The “etrog” of the Jews, used in the Feast of Tabernacles, is not mentioned in the Bible. It [...]