An Email from God concerning the Holocaust

Here is a letter from my friend Rachel, who wrote the following piece of creative Midrash, which I call: A Letter  to Humankind from God Concerning the Holocaust. The theological message is priceless and this is a letter any Sunday School class can easily benefit from.

Hi Linda,

God here. I got your email. Oy vey.

Obviously, you humans have very inaccurate information about how I work. I’m going to try to set the record straight. Why, I don’t know. It’s not like I haven’t set it straight before, but I’m an eternal optimist (ha ha), so here goes:

1. I did not cause the Holocaust–not because of Zionism, and not for any other reason. I don’t know who started that rumor, but I’d like it to stop immediately. As in, right now.

2. I am an incorporeal being and thus cannot take Xanax, which is actually completely immaterial (ha ha), because I don’t *need* Xanax. See my next point for details.

3. I basically set things up so that human beings would make good choices, but when they don’t, I grieve. I don’t get mad and destroy entire civilizations, although when I was younger, I definitely felt the impulse. Now that I am older, I do not try to evade my grief with anger and destructiveness. I just grieve and try to keep the world going to the best of my ability. You humans would be well-advised to follow my example.

4. Please love whomever you want. Really. It gives me no pleasure to watch you humans writhe around in abject misery.

5. My name is not really Rachel, but she was nice enough to let me use her wireless connection so that I could send you this message.

Have a nice day,